The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. "We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. Forget the politicians. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. It helps in improving the performance. Theyre not interested in that. George Denis Patrick Carlin ( May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this weeks reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? It will not be with jack-boots. ", 24. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. CMPRO cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking, and for targeted advertising. Try spelling Evian backward. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. They want obedient workers. They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. The Monday night crucifixions! This cookie is used to track the behavior of a user within the current session. Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. ", 46. Like the public. and if you want to make this about "comedy" then Carlin should tell these things called "jokes". If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. ", 14. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. ", 51. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". Everybody says they suck. Others see it half empty. ", 57. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. ", 113. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ", 49. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. ", 27. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. ""These days many politicians are demanding change. ", 55. ", 122. "Never argue with an idiot. ", 117. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. CMPS cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking based on user's website visits, for displaying targeted ads. Just like homeless people. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. You voted them in. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. ", 5. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Which doesn't make any sense at all. Its you. "Everyone smiles in the same language. ", 106. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. A cat . An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. 01. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Thats right. "I was a loner as a child. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin. ", 19. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. ", 104. The legendary comic, who died in 2008 at the age of 71, is also the subject of an upcoming two-part documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which debuts on HBO Max later this month: By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. The game is rigged. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. Obedience, respect for authority. And nobody seems to notice. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. [5] And another one: Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. The quote continues: "They own all the important land. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store information about when a visitor has visited the site before. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. George Carlin. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. RIP George Carlin. ", 83. 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The great George Carlin once said in an interview that he divorced himself from concerns and problems from the world. Lobbying, to get what they want. "In America, anyone can become president. But dont participate; it will be your death. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. Maybe this time itll work. ", 72. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. You and I are not in The Big Club. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field waving their pricks at one another. "The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. "Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. - George Carlin. ", 107. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. OK? "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", 103. "How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. "So, have a little fun. (LogOut/ "Don't give your money to the church. You have OWNERS! George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. Owned by agkn, this cookie is used for targeting and advertising purposes. Now, some people like to twist that around. You ever notice that? ", 47. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. ", 61. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. "I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. They want your fuckin retirement money. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. You caused the problem. '", 78. ", 11. If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, Back In Town, Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. ", 85. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. ", 89. Never join a group that has a name. ", 9. ", 96. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? It does not store any personal data. This cookie store anonymous user idnetifier to determine whether a visitor had visited before, or if its a new visit. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' Carlin was a New York City-based stand-up comedian, social critic, writer, and actor, best known for his unconventional and vulgar comedy routines. Then you're just what they're looking for. Trump did not fall to Earth from. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." ", 102. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. ", 16. ", 79. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. ", 3. After that, they don't want to know about you. Yeah, the public sucks. "If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. ", 64. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. 3 queens who slayed while imitating Rep. George Santoss drag alter ego, Kitara Rivache, Libs Of TikTok's Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, Tennessee issues trans healthcare ban & nation's first drag ban. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? We're so self-important. ", 62. Then youre just what theyre looking for. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. But, he is wrong here. ", 48. They own everything" "They've. Theyre not interested in that. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. ", Want more great quotes? After that, they dont wanna know about you. ", 2. This cookie is set by pippio to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? You know what the motto for this country ought to be? This is what we have to offer. 28. r/antiwork. By programmers in one hour. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. Forget the politicians. "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. George Carlin. At all. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. They own and control the corporations. George Carlin. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. No nothing. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. ", 7. The rights and the rights of property. 123 Rocky_Roku 1 yr. ago Didn't he say that he despised liberalism just as much as conservatism? I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. This cookie is set by the BlueConic. Well what if I don't want to? AdScale sets this cookie to target ads by registering the user's movements across websites. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Politics Notify me about new: Board Topics. They dont fall out of the sky. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. ", 5. This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. He died in 2008, the week after he had been named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize . "People are fucking nuts. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. Used by Microsoft Advertising as a unique ID for visitors. "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. On Election Day, I stay home. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. Fewer Texans. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' ", 38. He saw it from a . From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. Join. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? ", 105. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. "How is it possible to have a civil war? This cookie supports the website's live support provider. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. Set by addthis.com to determine the usage of addthis.com service. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. . Where are these people hiding? NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. Thats what the owners count on, Carlin intones. ", 4. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. ""This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. These current events and social issues that are relevant today . You don't. You have no choice. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It's call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.". Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. This cookie expires after 30 minutes but the timer is reset if the visitor visits a new page on the site before the cookie expires. George Carlin. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. ", 91. - Doc Holliday. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. ", 100. Board Messages . Here is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was. This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. ", 120. No neonatal care, no daycare, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. ''It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. I think the life cycle is all backwards. Nothing changed. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. ", 119. George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. F*ck Hope. Whats that, a bonus? ", 92. ", 8. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. ", 50. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? It also helps for marketing automation solution for B2B marketers to track customers through all phases of buying cycle. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Weve learned how to make aliving, but not alife.