This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Nowadays, potential mates need money. 100. What's your sign? 3. 10. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. I will leave that up to your imagination. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Boom. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). At minding my own business? 79. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? Siri, why am I still single? But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. I'm overqualified! I'm afraid I can't do that. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. 59. 12. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Then you die. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. 69. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. I just woke up like that one day. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. You have an old soul. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! The best GIFs are on GIPHY. And it's time for me to make my escape. The only thing offending me right now is your face. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Because Jamaican me crazy! But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. You look tired. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. What's your sign? The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Most of the time, that is not true. Nice outfit. 1. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. 12. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Could Be Better. Do you want the short or the detailed version? Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Sorry, life. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. (Say it like he or. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. How are you? 58. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. 24. Because they are already taking their time. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." I'm alive, whoa! I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. I havent met the right one yet. Everyone has a different sense of humor. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. 1. Chuck Bass? Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. This one is bound to get a laugh. 3. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. My grandfather had a ton of these. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. More like give me a sign that. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. We all grow up as we get older. 7. Is your family tree a cactus? 2. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Alive Jokes. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Have you been thinking? provided, of course, that he really is dead." All rights reserved. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Thats because Im still waiting for you. 51. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. You dont need to say it. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Im not single. 19. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. 86. 3. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. You should really come with a warning label. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. (This line came from the cartoon show. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. 4. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. 1. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. 14. Are you going to help me have a good day? Oh, a thought crossed your mind? I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. "You know I can do this anytime.". My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. 7. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Thats why Im single. Because youre highly qualified. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". 61. 2. funny response to are you still alive. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. I only fall in love with anime characters. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. (perfect for vegans). 27. Whats with all these questions? Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Unlikely, but worth a shot. 75. 74. 82. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. I favour the "How am I what?" Alexa's response: No, that's not true. 6. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. It's best part of the whole movie. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. 29. My only talent is not being in a relationship. 7. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. 32. . conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Because they are already taking their time. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. To text, most of us need our thumbs. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. I hope you are at your best too. 50. Brilliant! bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Another way to say Still Alive? "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. So, you changed your mind? "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". 1. 66. 16. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. So much better than most people. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. 14. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . Not Bad. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I'm wondering how you are. 76. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Follow for more funny content!! | Are you surviving? I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? It could be raining men, and Id still be single. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Required fields are marked *. My bad, its just your mouth. 3. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Being single is much better than being married. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. Someone took their costume way too seriously. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. You a cop? Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Socioeconomically? 87. Are those space pants? Its not my choice, but its still a choice. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question.